Agile Notes (No. 66)

Non-Violent Communication

I have been reading Agile Coaching by Rachel Davies and Liz Sedley. This book was referenced by Lyssa Adkins in Coaching Agile Teams. I’m not sure how deep we are going to get with this book. It is a good entry-level book for Coaches, Scrum Masters and even Project Managers.

The challenge I have with this book is that there aren’t many opportunities for grabbing a snippet or snapshot. And you know that page grabs are my jam. :)

Nonviolent Communication is a great book and should be required reading for any manager and leader. It is referenced here in Agile Coaching and Adkins does the same.

I am a recovering Type A, High D (DiSC), ladder-climbing maniac. I have mellowed A LOT over the last 10+ years. I stepped off the ladder. I started taking on Project Management roles and then I found Agile. During that transition (which is on-going btw) Nonviolent Communication and a Mindfulness practice have been KEY in smoothing things out for me. (And everyone around me). :)

The page grab above is just one tool from the Nonviolent Communication toolkit. It is a great one though. It helps with managing conflict. It helps with building your empathy muscles - the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others. It is SUPER hard to do. And you will make a mess of it often but keep trying. Use the guidelines. Share your Observation - Guess at what the person is feeling - Guess at what they need - Offer a way to help. Over time, it will work.

How about you? Are you familiar with Nonviolent Communication? Have you used any of it’s tools? Are you struggling to apply any of the tools?

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